The Ready Cee Show | Parakhan Spit Hate

Thanks to this site, I didn’t have to take any pictures.  I realize this isn’t the best example, but you see where the theory is going. Not all of the JFK assassination pics were great either.

Another Wednesday night in Hollywood California.  I passed on going to the ESPYs.  I passed on going to see Tropic Thunder. I didn’t pass on going to see Nas again on Jimmy Kimmel.  I caught him the last time he came through (you remember that blues song with his dad?) and it’s only right to go check out NY’s finest again. Checklist:

• Pre show rum and coke @ Scorpions: Check
• Green room Corona #1: Check
• Green room buffet (pot stickers & beef wrapped vegetables and cheese): Check
• Seeing and chatting with some friends: Check
• Green Lantern in the Green room: Check
• Green room Corona #2: Check

When it was time to head out, we walked out and checked out the show from the side.  Nas ripped into “Hero”. Sounded pretty good from where I was standing, but I couldn’t really tell if he was saying all the words or mumbling sometimes.  The live band on the track made it bang more.  The bass player in the band was good.  “Sly Fox” was pretty dope.  I agree that Fox news does suck.  Then the highlight of the set was played…hearing ”It Ain’t Hard To Tell” brings on that feeling of nostalgia  that you can feel in your chest.  Illmatic is one of my favorite albums of all time.  “Made You Look” had intensity and the crowd was into it.  All around, it was a good mini show.  After that…we shook the spot for post show drinks @ Scorpions.  The trip turned into another checklist:

• Kettle One dirty martini: Check
• Sip the white sangria: Check
• Sip the red sangria: Check
• Corona #3: Check
• Corona #4: Check
• Sol #1: Check
• Tecate #1: Check
• Feeling bent = Check

Now, let’s get into my newest theory.  Events these days are like the JFK assassination and the grassy knoll…there are a gazillion pictures documenting the event.  I believe there is no longer a need to pull out your camera phone when you’re at a decent sized event as everyone and their mom is already snapping photos.

First I’m going to backtrack one step and talk about the non public part of the event.  When you roll on some VIP shit and hang in areas where there is only talent, worker bees, and agents/managers….nobody wants to see you with your camera out.  This isn’t TMZ.  It actually feels awkward to have your camera out in those situations anyway.  Hope that makes sense.  Now on to the regular portion of the event, in most cases, everyone has their camera out and are snapping away like crazy.  This means that they’re going to put the photos on flickr or the internet before you even get to your house.  A quick search the next day and boom…there you are.  Pretty simple theory….to sum it up: There may no longer be a need for you to snap your own photos at a concert ever again.

There are always exceptions to the rule.  This is my Robert Greene “Reversal” section at the end of the chapter. If you have to send a picture immediately as an alibi to prove your location…break the rule.  If you’re in a situation where you see some extremely messed up shit…break the rule.  At the Beastie Boy’s show at the Fonda last year, I was standing next to Tommy Lee and some little weird guy was kissing Tommy’s back and neck and making out with him.  It was fucking creepy and nasty, but I wish I had taken a shot so people would believe me.  A followup search reveals that TMZ caught those fools that night getting it on. It’s also ok to break the rule if you’re in a spot that nobody can get to (a good example would be that pic i snapped on the stage watching Prince at Coachella).  Another exception to the rule would be a situation in which you have the chance to take a picture with a legend…you have to go for it.  I regret not taking a picture with James Brown when I had the chance a few times.  I didn’t want to be that douchebag tugging on his arm asking for a photo after he just ripped a sick show.  Other missed opportunities that I regret:  Jimmy Page & Slash, George Benson, Ahmad Jamal & Idris Muhammad, Metallica, Bill Clinton, and Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Adjust these rules to suit your shit, sit back, and enjoy the show.

A blue satin cape embroidered with Thy Name Is Godfather of Soul and rhinestone, sequence and metallic embellishments.  Estimated Price:  $15,000 – $20,000

So they’re going to really auction off some of James Brown’s stuff at Christie’s?  I guess he’s not using it anymore, but if there are unresolved conflicts between family, business managers, and trustees…they should definitely be resolved before the slanging begins.  Yes, as Dozanova put it, “Hip Hop died on Christmas Day 2006″, but the legend lives on in my mind…and hopefully in yours.  I don’t have the official Christie’s auction book yet, but I’ve looked at all of the items online.  To jack some descriptions from http://www.thestate.com/local/story/462001.html, this auction is amazing to say the least:

There are handwritten notes, signed contracts and the inmate inventory sheet listing the clothing and accessories that were taken when Brown went to prison in 1989 for aggravated assault and failure to stop for police.

Most items are expected to bring less than $1,000. But others, like the jumpsuit he wore in 1974 when he performed before the Ali-Foreman “Rumble in the Jungle” in Zaire, are expected to go for $5,000 or more.

A black cape embroidered with his name, Brown’s 1986 Grammy for “Living in America” and a Hammond B-3 electric organ have an estimated value of $15,000 to $20,000.

So here’s my plan.  My bank is WAMU and WAMU is about to go out of biz.  I’m going to get my dough out of that sinking ship and instead of depositing it somewhere else, investing it, or saving it….I’m going to buy a cape, jumpsuit, and a moog…and make shit funky.  If I had a JB jumpsuit…I would rock it everyday for the rest of my life.  RIP Godfather….a true legend.

Btw, this is a perfect segue into a brief point I want to make about dead rappers and producers who aren’t true legends.  Just because you made some hot beats or spit some verses and then died…doesn’t make you a legend.  So, no, I don’t get super emotional over dead rappers or producers.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  On the flip side, I respect life very much and am saddened by loss of it …but I understand that we all have to live and we all have to die.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some hardcore death lover as I always take time to reflect on what it means to be alive whenever I hear about someone passing….especially in hip hop.  Personally, I don’t expect anyone to give a damn about me when I’m gone (I do hope my friends to have a party and drink some hen though….haha).  Seriously, you clowns running around dropping RIP for these rappers you didn’t know is a weird hip hop phenomenon.  Why don’t you run around throwing RIP’s to people you know, loved ones, people close to you, and your family?  Or even the real legends who made shit possible (like James Brown, Hendrix, or Muddy Waters)….not some random catch phrase that you picked up.  Maybe you feel like you’re part of movement by doing that?  Maybe they really touched each and everyone of your lives…dunno…anything is possible I guess.  To each his own..don’t listen to me anyway cause I don’t know shit.  I do know one thing though…before I throw a shout to someone I don’t know, I’ve got a massive list of people who are gone that I’ve known and loved…and that’s all that will ever come out of my mouth.

Autobots! Blaze! The voice changer isn’t exactly a talkbox, but we’ll take it.

Hey visitor bench ball boy in warm ups and a headband…you’re never going to get in the game. Isn’t there an age limit on being a ball boy?

I was there at the Staples Center when the lakers blew the massive lead in game 4 of the finals. Section PR9, Row 7, Seat 12. I’ve been to a game in each playoff series this year and was present when the Lakers jerked off a 24 point lead and lost to the Celtics. What the flying fuck? I really think it’s time to put the ball boy in. Don’t you? You know the one I’m talking about if you’ve been to Lakers games…he’s the guy folding towels and stank breakaways at the foot of the visitor bench. He’s there at every game. He wears a sweat suit and a headband. He’s ready to go in the game….just waiting for Phil to call his nonexistent number and then it’s on. Phil, next time the squad blows a huge lead in a must win game in the NBA finals…put the grown man ball boy in. He can’t play any worse than the Lakers did last night, can he?

P.S. Everlast was sitting in my section. That’s two Everlast sightings in the last month or so. While I’m name dropping…I was eating lunch at the Katsuya at Hollywood & Vine on Wednesday and there was a walk of fame star dedication going on outside for Susan Saint James. I arrived early before my lunch meeting and ended up standing around next to Jamie Lee Curtis and Al Michaels. Al Michaels!!! I love Al but I wish this was a report of a Madden sighting. Maria Shriver Skeletor was there too.

Paranorm’s offiicial court sketch. Includes a blind jury, too black too strong plaintiff team, a fair and partial judge, and a lying ass defense team

My friend was brutally assaulted by the LAPD in 2005. The police department initially tried to hang him on crazy made up criminal charges…until the videotape of the incident surfaced. Immediately, all charges were dropped. The tables were turned and the LAPD police brutality that runs wild in the street was then put on trial in federal civil court. I’ve seen the tapes and I attended the trial. The eight jurors in the trial returned a verdict in favor of the LAPD. Stevie Wonder could see that something is wrong with the verdict in this case. Justice was not served.