The Ready Cee Show | Parakhan Spit Hate

It’s happened to us all.  You’re minding your own biz, walking down the street, then out of nowhere you see him….the garbage ass cd slangin’ rapper with the stankin ass breath.  You know who I’m talking about…the super hip hop guy who hangs outside Fat Beats and tourist areas wearing overly hip hop gear and a cracked out smile.  He exists to prey on busters, which is commendable in some situations, but at the same time, he is one of the biggest problems in hip hop: true wackness.  It’s a proven fact that 99 out of 100 of these rappers are terrible and shouldn’t have ever touched a mic.  So, in true Spit Hate / The Ready Cee Show fashion, we’re gonna put you up on a little game and teach you how to deal with these guys.  Needless to say, this only applies to those of you who are interested in handling the situation in a semi-polite way as the flip side is just bustin a nigga dead in the jaw and skating.

First of all, do not make eye contact if you can avoid it. Ignoring the clown is probably your best bet.  Treat that fucka like a human AIDS virus and steer clear of the headache if you can.  Keep it moving and stride on by.

If you do happen to make eye contact, pretend you can’t hear them.  It would be great if you were on your phone, or have headphones, because it’s much easier to pretend that you can’t hear them when you’re preoccupied.  If you don’t have a prop to fall back on, pretend you don’t hear them anyway.  The borderline feeling of being a dick because you’re ignoring another human being  is ok as this doofus is trying to sell you a subpar product.  It’s ok.  Now, they will try to catch you with the classic line, “aye yo, do you like hip hop?” Duh, of course we like good hip hop, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.  Just tell em “no” or “I like country” and keep it moving.  This question is  such a trick question because any answer aside from “no” opens the door for dialogue.  DO NOT GET INTO DIALOGUE WITH A BITCH RAPPER!!

Absolutely, under no circumstances, do you allow the rapper to put the cd in your hand. They will do it so slick as if they’re just handing it out for free…but we, and you, know better.  It’s an ancient Chinese tape slangin’ secret to put a cd in the victim’s hand and make them hang around and listen to a garbage pitch.  Textbook.  It’s all negative from that point on.  Well, ok, the only positive that can come from having a cd placed in your hand is that you get to witness the crappy product being pushed on you….which can be very entertaining sometimes.  Bitch rappers have bad spelling, goofy artwork, and funny song names, but it’s not worth the interaction.  If you’re not holding the cd for the purpose of laughter, immediately give it back.  Remember, the longer you hold it, the more you’ll have to hear that the shit is hot, how they’re just trying to make it, and how much they’ll let it go for. Blah.

If you’re silly enough to be drawn in for a listen, please do yourself a favor and DO NOT LET THE RAPPER PUT THOSE LICE INFESTED HEADPHONES OF HIS ON YOUR HEAD. You may die if you put those headphones on..A)from disease and B) from the garbage music you’ll hear.  Just don’t do it.

If you feel sorry for the rapper and end up buying  a cd, please redeem yourself by throwing the cd back at the rapper.  Assault is a good thing in this case.  If you’re in a tourist area with police cameras and want to avoid trouble, throw the cd on the ground, and smash that shit like LL did in the “I’m Bad” video during the jelly bean line.  Really crush that shit into nothing and dip.

We’re not hating on good rappers, just these guys…but we are full of hate in general.  Fuck em.

The crew takes some time out from kickin’ it to kick it

I just made a wack ass garbage ass beat. Not all tracks are winners. This goes for women as well, but I’ll leave that discussion for another day and time.

Lately, I’ve been riding my bike through the neighborhoods of LA while looking at buildings, the people, and what exists. I’ve blasted through Mid City, Hollywood, Hancock Park, Koreatown, Culver City, West Hollywood, Miracle Mile, whatever you call that part of town by Dj Destroy’s house, Los Feliz, and all parts in between. The bike riding iPod playlist these days is: Bad Brains, Black Flag, Dinosaur Jr. (Damn..I’m like SST’s biggest fan), Silversun Pickups, Metallica, Foos, The Police, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and more of the same. While I ride I often drift off and dream of what it would’ve been like to be a member of The Beatles, Nirvana, or The Temptations. The Beatles is pretty well documented…I’m hoping to run into Paul McCartney one day. I know enough people connected to Nirvana that I could probably get some rare first hand stories of what it was like to be them in their prime, but I’m not going to ask as it’s none of my biz. The Temptations movie was based off of Otis’s account of what happened so I’m going to assume it’s as close to the truth as you can get. David Ruffin was a tough cat.

It’s been a long time since I posted…but, nobody reads this anyway so who cares, right? I always have stuff that I want to write about, but when it comes time to write..it vanishes. Let the freestyle session begin.

Let’s see, Dj Ready Cee came to visit. The BX was up in this bitch. We went to an art event where graf guys were painting on half naked girls in bikinis. Destroy and Ready Cee held it down on the tables. Fun night. Ooohh..that same night we went to see some underground hip hop acts as Ready was supposed to spin. There were a few tight groups. I won’t name any names, but a certain rapper from Oxnard was like kryptonite cause he had niggas scatterin’ for the doors after maybe 10 to 12 minutes. Mass exodus. Sorry dude.

I caught a flight to Vegas to see the Foo Fighters play at the Hard Rock Casino. Eating at Nobu with friends before the show was the right move. Black cod wrapped in lettuce was the highlight. The next day it was back to LA and down to Irvine to see Blondie, Reo Speedwagon, and Billy Idol. Devo was on the bill, but it was splittsville before they came on. I’ve seen them before…the drummer holds it down.

I had jury duty. “yes, it would definitely be financial hardship if you put me on this 6 week asbestos trial, judgey”. Jury duty was straight boring. Sleep, wake up, get called on a panel, weasel out of long ass trial, sleep, wake up, try not to make eye contact with the transvestite sitting next to me cause it creeps me out, go back to sleep, wake up, go home.

Chuck and I had a treading water contest. We called it a tie after an hour as we both had some other stuff to do. I’m tread conditioned to be able to make it if the ship goes down…..though, I haven’t been on a ship and I’ve never been in the ocean, it’s nice to be prepared in case my plane crashes in the water and I survive. Shit…I and I Survive.

Speaking of Bad Brains…is HR going to show up on 12/6 at the Palladium? Place your bets now.

I met MGMT through DJ Carbo at the Fonda when they played on 9/14. I still rock the album….”Weekend Wars” is one awesome song. Oracular Spectacular delivers a daily dose of post apocalyptic messages regarding the state of the survivors when it’s all over.

The funniest story I heard since the last post was TP from Tee Pee Records telling me about playing street football in NYC as a kid. In short, he said that they kicked the ball off to a guy and while he was returning it, he had a boxing glove on one hand and was punching players in the face while running it back for a td. I almost started crying. I guess you had the be there, eh? He told me the story just prior to us seeing Night Horse & Graveyard. Sick shit.

So, I have no job but I still spend cash money. How does that work? I don’t understand either. Don’t really need to. I have my 2009 goggles on and all I do is work on this project that I’ve been working on for a really long time. I hope you like it when it’s done. Late.

Out Now!  http://thereadyceeshow.com/ or go pick it up at Fat Beats in NYC

The Ready Cee Show V8.0 ftg Paranorm – The Killa Wolf

01. INTRO
02. LIL DAP – World Peace
03. BUN B & CHINO XL – Cross Your Heart
04. ELZHI – Fire (remix) feat. Black Milk, Guilty Simpson, Fatt Father, Danny Brown & Fat Ray
05. GZA feat. JUSTICE KAREEM – Groundbreaking
06. MADLIB feat. GUILTY SIMPSON – Go!
07. UNCLE MURDER – Got It Made Freestyle
08. PARANORM – DROP 1
09. OPIO – On The Outside Lookin In
10. THE LOX feat. PETE ROCK – It’s Like That
11. BISHOP LAMONT & BUSTA RHYMES – Kissin’ The Curb
12. PRODIGY – Stop Stressin’
13. ILL BILL & DJ PREMIER – Society Is Brainwashed
14. ROC MARCIANO – All The Real
15. MF DOOM – Trap Door
16. M.O.P. & DJ BABU – Dearly Departed
17. BEAT KONDUCTA feat. MED & POKE – The Ox
18. PARANORM – DROP 2
19. DIAMOND D – D-I-A-M-O-N-D
20. MILANO – New York City
21. PLANET ASIA & DJ MUGGS – Pain Language
22. DJ REVOLUTION feat. RAKKA IRISCIENCE – Casualties Of Tour
23. BLACK POET & BUMPY KNUCKLES – Damage
24. POSDONUS & SLUG – Oh Really
25. PARANORM – DROP 3

Devilman takes time out of his busy vacation to raid my fridge for Cristal from ya boy Louis Roederer

August 3rd, 2008 – Dolly Parton – Greek Theatre
Dolly plays a lot of instruments during her show.  She plays the piano, flute, banjo, harmonica, autoharp, guitar, and more.  I went to Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee when I was a kid.  I’m not one of those guys who fronts on country music.  I like Johnny Cash, Jerry Reed (damn), and Waylon Jennings.  As a youngster I got to go to some country shows…stuff like Crystal Gayle, Kenny Rogers, and Little Jimmy Dickens.  Music is music and country has some damn good music.  Go see Dolly if you get a chance.

August 5th, 2008 – Pineapple Express Screening
Was ok.  My days of chiefing my mind away are gone.  But was I blowed up in the theater?  The movie security was parading up and down the aisles with night vision goggles to check for bootleggers.

August 6th, 2008 – Steve Miller Band / Joe Cocker – Nokia Theatre
Joe Cocker came out and was pretty awesome.  Steve Miller came out and was awesome.  Both guys were old then a mug. I can check these guys off my “to see” list.  We sat in the front row.  That’s the first time I recall ever sitting in the front row of a show.  I could hear exactly how off the tambourine/harmonica guy in the Steve Miller Band really is.   I looked him up when I got home and apparently he is a session musician with a massive catalog under his belt.  Will chalk up the lack of rhythm to a bad night.  The Nokia Theatre VIP backstage area is nice and the drink line is short.

August 19th, 2008 – D.Evilman Arrives in LA
It’s rare that SBI comes to LA.  I don’t think SB has been up in here since Dj Strictnine departed (insert SBI playing the Welcome Back Kotter theme).  Rasputin comes through every few years.  Devil came out and kicked it for a week.  Activities included Phillipes, Venice Beach, sushi, and whatever other shit I could figure out to slide into his trip.  Oh, Amoeba was a big hit.  Like a $500 in records hit.  For people not knowing…Amoeba is a record store that is the size of a Target.

August 20th, 2008 – Dub Club – Echoplex
Rastafari was up in that mug.  Silver Lake dreads don’t stop till they get enough.  Dub Club is always a good time for the reggae lovers like myself.

August 21st, 2008 – Gza – El Rey Theatre
Waltzed in to the table by the rail.  Thank you D.  Staying out of general population is sometimes the best way to take in a show.  This was the 2nd time I’ve seen GZA do Liquid Swords in it’s entirety.  I wish more rappers would come out and do this.  Geto Boys, where you at?

August 23rd, 2008 – Michael Henderson / Jean Carne / Sam Moore / Billy Paul – Sunset Junction
I haven’t been to Sunset Junction in like 4 years.  We checked it out to catch Sam Moore as I’ve always wanted to see him.  Ask Ian Rogers, Sam & Dave’s greatest hits is something I rocked non stop back in Bloomington.  Sam was good.  Billy Paul’s voice was great.  Jean Carne did her big hit “Don’t Let It Go To Your Head”.  I’m not really sure if that’s the title or not, but that’s the chorus.  I always thought Michael Henderson wasn’t that good and I missed his set this time, so I guess I’ll never know.

August 26th, 2008 – 10 Year old girl b-day party – Pasadena
If you invite me, I generally turn up.  Cake and ice cream is good.  Para love the kids.

August 27th, 2008 – George Benson / Marcus Miller, Stanley Clarke, Victor Wooten – Hollywood Bowl
Almost got into a fight walking from Hollywood and Highland to the venue.  LA can turn on you at any given second.  The show was excellent.  Stanley Clarke’s stand up bass solo was the finest example of why we still need jazz in the world. Wooten and Miller are two of the best bass players in the world.  It was great to see all three of these guys do their thing together.   George Benson is a true entertainer.  I’ve seen him before and he never disssapoints.  Sick.

August 31st, 2008 – Steel Pulse – HOB Sunset
Dj Destroy joined me for a trip down to House of Blues on Sunset to check out Steel Pulse.  Show was sick.  Another one of those stay out of general population trips.  Afterwards we kicked it with the band for a bit and got faded in the foundation room.  Destroy saw some ill shit.   Who is that old guy with the white hair who is at every single show dancing?  Shouts to Anjali, Sidney, David, and Selwyn.  Thanks for having us.

September 4th, 2008 – Metro Station – Jimmy Kimmel Live
My friend Ant is the drummer in this band.  I guess saying that they’re blowing up is an understatement.   I just heard their single being played to the crowd during the Monday Night Football game between Dallas and Philly.  Anyway, went down to the show to check him out.  I guess he won’t be coming over to my crib in Silver Lake to record anymore, eh?

September 8th, 2008 – Deathbowl To Downtown – LA Premiere
Missed it.  Damn, wanted to see the SHUT skates part.  I heard Sam Velde tore it up at the party.

September 9th, 2008 – Huntington Hospital – Pasadena
Went to the world premiere of AD’s new baby.  Well, I was there 5 hours after the arrival…close enough!

September 11th, 2008 – Burn After Reading Screening – Arc Light Theater
911 bums me out.  A girl from my high school died in the towers.  Crazy.  The movie was just ok.  Kinda oddball black comedy…I’d wait until it comes on HBO or peep the matinee if I were you.

I think that about wraps it up for this update…that’s all I can remember…well except for:

• I skated with Silva a few times.
• Supervised the moving of a weight bench without offering to help
• Conducted very little email marketing business
• I’m going to skip Righteous Kill as they didn’t end up using the song I wasted my time and effort making for the movie
• I’ve ramped up my attempts to find top notch collaborators for a new project I’m working on.
• Doz went to Bermuda for vacation! Wtf?
• I love the fact that I can spend 5 to 15 hours a day working on what I think will be my final record.  Feels good.  I think it’s one last record and then I’m outty…a record that contains what I really want to say instead of all the shit I’ve been spitting my entire life.  I feel like Malcolm after his pilgrimage, but I only go to the kitchen to make bloody marys

Rock on.

Albert King (1923 – 1992) / Bobby “Blue” Bland (1930 – Still Representin)

There is a lot of stuff going on in the world right now. War, murder, thievery, rape, genocide, homelessness, etc…the list of jacked stuff goes on forever. I know I shouldn’t have the blues for what I’m about to tell you, but I really can’t help it. I’ve been working on some new songs as a reinvention of sorts and it has been going really, really, really well. The recordings were awesome. I’m trucking along with a good attitude, kinda happy for a change, and then Boom! Explosion! Death! Destruction! My Pro Tools Drive crashed. I haven’t backed up anything in a few weeks. I’m fucked.

I’ve run about 15 applications to find the data and have retrieved the wav files (along with all kinds of other shit that got deleted a long time ago), but this was a drive dedicated to Pro Tools only and .pft session files are nowhere to be found. Btw, just like they say, data is never really deleted until it is written over by new data a few times…or unless you bust out a 7 to 35 pass file shredding application (which was actually the culprit in my case). Something about the app I was using to really delete old files jacked up the NFTS file tables and MBR or something weak like that. Dunno, this shit feels like someone is sticking a knife in my eye and scraping the inside of my skull while forcing me to listen to a non mixed mixtape of only Black Eye Peas and Miley Cyrus at 1,000,000,000,000 decibels. I hate my life right about now.

In the words of a living legend Mr. Bobby Bland:

Ask me who was the first man to make a light burn so bright
I don’t know, oh lord, I don’t know
Ask me who thought of using a candle for a light
I don’t know, oh lord, I know

But ask me how does a man feel when he’s got the blues
And I’d say, misused, abused, downhearted and blue
And Oh, the reason I know this
Cause the Blues is all I was left with

I can tell you only one thing right now…what it’s like to have the hard drive blues. Ain’t no love in the heart of this Los Angeles city.

Take us out Mr. Albert King:

The beautiful little birds chirpin’ up in the tree, yeah
Buy you know I just can’t dig the sweet melody
I’m so blue and all alone
I’m just a lonely man with everything gone

I’m a fella with a different groove
I’m hung up, I can’t hear nothing but the blues