Spit Hate

Cedars-Sinai Medical Center

“Kobe Bryant is a liar!”, “No!!!”, and “Janet, get over here” came from the mouth of the crazy lady next to me in the Cedars Sinai Emergency Room last night. She was staring at the Armenians who were staring at the Mexicans who were looking at the girl with the broken nose who was looking at the old dude with the hurt ankle who was staring at the sleeping dread. At the same time, a drug faded homeless teen went in the bathroom and didn’t come out for 45 minutes. Though I won’t tell you why I was there, I’ll tell you that nothing sucks more than sitting in an emergency room waiting room for seven hours.

I watched an entire lakers game, the news, a movie, and my change got taken in the vending machine. Now, I’ve been stuck in this waiting room before…so Cedars and I have some history (like the time I sat directly across from will.i.am with me looking at him and him looking at me for hours without saying a word…then again, what would I say, “remember me, I’m Molly’s friend who came to your apartment for a party and took out your garbage ass bep atban klan shit and put in some SBI shit to the dismay of all the capri pant fingerless glove wearing geeks who frowned…then you went on to be an Iovine creation with no hip hop respect while I’m still broke eating microwave burritos…at least niggas don’t hate me”).

So, each time I’ve been in the ER…the same thing comes to mind. I wonder if there is a security tape of the entourage bringing the late, legendary & great, Biggie Smalls into the ER. Since he wasn’t brought in via ambulance, Puff and crew prob bust right in thru the front door past the glass on the right and through the security door to save the icon. Fuck. Why did that nigga in a bowtie have to shoot Biggie? I don’t usually care much about people I don’t know dying as we all have to go at some point, but Big was one of the last greats in hip hop…just a terrible loss for the game. I’m sure there is more to the story than we’ll ever know.

For more info on where the stars go to die:

http://www.who2.com/blog/2008/01/cedars-sinai-er-to-stars.html

2007 was a banner year for celebrity treatment, even by Cedars-Sinai standards. Nicole Kidman was taken there last January after a minor car accident on the set of Invasion. Robert Goulet died there in November, awaiting a lung transplant. Merv Griffin had cancer treatment in August. Zsa Zsa Gabor had a leg operation in September. (Her sister Eva died there in 1995.) Owen Wilson was shipped there after his reported suicide attempt. David Hasselhoff showed up for detox after his notorious I-can-has-cheeseburger video. Tori Spelling had a baby. Dennis Quaid’s twins had a medical emergency.

Going back in time, a combined search for “taken to cedars-sinai” and “star of” turns up names large and small: Brad Pitt (meningitis scare), Dick Van Patten (diabetic stroke), Martin Lawrence (running through traffic), Paul Stanley of KISS (heart palpitations), Liz Taylor (heart problems), Charlie Sheen (drug problems), and Charles Bronson (died of pneumonia).

Bronson wasn’t the only one: Johnny Carson, River Phoenix, Henry Fonda, Lucille Ball, Andy Kaufman and the Notorious B.I.G. all were declared dead at Cedars-Sinai.